I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
