Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
