Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
