I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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