i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
