spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
