we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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