Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
