why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
