So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
