maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
