Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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