Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
