that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
