Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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