I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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