Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
