belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
