office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
