He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
