And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dear god my vagina.
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