Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
