worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
