Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
