this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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