just come out here and I will go home with you...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
