More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
