i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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