the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
