So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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