that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
