Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
