I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
