CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I cut my penus on the lid.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
