I'm drive I can fine osifer
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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