sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
