I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
