Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm both gender and math confused
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
