No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have post one night stand depression
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