I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
