Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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