i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
