the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
