I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
