Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
