Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
