i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
