So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
