A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
