This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
did you just send me my own nude
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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