Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
