I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
