I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
